You know how there are cookbooks (and, by implication, cookery authors) who claim that you can cook a multitude of dishes just using ingredients from your cupboards? Well, I'd like to see one of these clever people rustle up 600 calories of nutritious breakfast at my home this morning, because I certainly couldn't come up with anything sensible.
Here's what I had to play with:
In the cupboard: flour, rice, egg noodles, kidney beans, baked beans, Weetabix, chickpeas, peanut butter, coconut milk, a jar of pasta sauce and another jar of fajita sauce.
In the fridge: salad sauce, butter, mayo, ketchup, 2 eggs, celery, spring onions, 4 cans of lager, three apples, a foil bag with five prunes (dried), a few cherry tomatoes, mushrooms that had seen better days, carrots and two lemons.
In the freezer: ice cubes, oven chips, fish fingers, peas and half a tub of vanilla ice cream.
In the bread bin: a small bag of milk chocolate buttons. If that wasn't a sign, I don't know what was.
I thought of making pancakes or muffins, but had no milk. Weetabix was also out of the question, as I didn't have anything to put on it. Baked beans needed toast, as did eggs (although I guess I could have had an omelette on its own). There was no hope of a continental-style breakfast, as there were no croissants, bread, biscuits, pastries or cake, no milk for coffee and no orange juice.
I briefly considered finishing off the ice cream, but saw sense.
Round about 12:30 PM I decided to scrap breakfast and have brunch instead, but there was no chicken or suitable veg for fajitas, no pasta, ham, bacon or sausages, no pizza in the freezer, no pot noodles in the cupboard, and not even a tin of soup anywhere in the house.
In the end I had egg noodles with "sundried tomato, garlic and basil" pasta sauce, an apple, five prunes and, in desperation, a handful of chocolate buttons. Hubby had a black coffee and the rest of the buttons, before rushing off to the supermarket with a long shopping list.
For some reason, he didn't fancy the noodles and pasta sauce combo, but really, it wasn't as bad as it sounds.