Wordless Wednesday 114

Wordless Wednesday 108

Wordless Wednesday 106

Friday morning funny

Cop pulls a priest over, sees open wine bottle in car.
"Been drinking?"
"Only water."
"I smell wine."
"Good lord! He's done it again!"

Cicadas

I can hear cicadas day and night. Where am I - and what is the temperature? Guess.

The Girl Who...

If you have read the Millennium Trilogy by Stieg Larsson (The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, The Girl Who Played with Fire and The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest) and especially if you've seen the respective movies, you may find this tongue-in-cheek article funny: The Girl Who Fixed The Umlaut by Nora Ephron.

Many thanks to Pamsie for twitting about this! I'm still quietly chuckling to myself :-)

Beware of dog

This is a comic strip by Arkas, my favourite Greek cartoonist. The dialogue goes like this:

The man: Come on, let's go for a walk.
The dog: I told you, I'm bored. You go.

The man: OK, I'll go alone. You stay here and guard the house.
The dog: Fine. Put a sign on the door: Beware of Dog.

The dog: That way, if anyone comes in they won't trip over me.

Cooking blues

I was inspired to do this post by Betty C. who photographed seven blue objects in her kitchen and did a little show and tell.

I must admit I'm not a huge fan of blue in the kitchen, as I find it doesn't compliment the reasons why you'd go into the kitchen, i.e. to cook or eat. Have you thought how few edible blue fruits and plants there are in nature? Personally I can think of some red grapes, blueberries and not much else!

Blue being hubby's favourite colour, we have some blue items in our kitchen in London, but as I'm currently in Athens, my collection of blue objects numbers just two cups, one of which is more purple than blue.


This floral cup is my favourite. I used to have two of them, but one broke, so now I have just the one cup and two saucers. It's quite a small cup but it's the perfect size for my coffee, as I can never drink the amount in a regular sized mug without half the liquid going cold.


Luckily I had dinner with my brother and his wife the other day, and got to photograph the remaining five blue items for this post in their kitchen. Look at the kitchen table set for us: blue crockery, cutlery with blue handles and even blue paper napkins. It's a blue photographer's paradise!


On the kitchen counter, I snapped my sister-in-law's cup of coffee.


Then they turned their kettle and toaster on for me, and guess what, both of them light blue! Project complete.


In case you're wondering what we had for dinner, we ordered chef's salad, spagetti and a massive pizza from the local takeaway.


And no, we didn't manage to finish it all. At least half the pizza ended up in the freezer for another day.

Husband store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE. There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.' So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous and help with housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a Wives Store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Save the chocolate

Yesterday while shopping for birthday cards, I saw this one in the shop:


I thought it was so funny, I had to buy it. It's guaranteed to put a smile on someone's face, surely.

Well, I guess maybe not if you don't like chocolate, but who doesn't?

Love story

I've been having a slow week and not come up with anything worth posting about, then a friend emailed me this short story by Greek cartoonist Arkas. I love the asburdness of Arkas's cartoons and laughed so much when I read this one, I thought I'd share it with you.


Bird: No point in persevering, we are not a good match. You know we are not a good match.
Hippo: I know, but I love you. Let's at least try one last time.


Bird: We are doomed to fail. It's best to stay friends. Erotically, we will never be a good match.
Hippo: But why not? How can you be so sure it won't work?


Bird: I've already told you!.. Because I am an Aquarius and you are a Virgo!

Wordless Wednesday 24

London South Bank. Photo by Caroline Lévesque.

The answer to the April Fool's quiz

Pretty scary when you consider what *was* true!

Spot the spoof

10 stories that could be April Fools... but aren't. 1 story that could be an April Fool... and is. Can you spot which one it is?

1. A new pay-per-view funeral service scheme is being launched today. The Daily Mail says the scheme at Southampton Crematorium allows mourners to grieve from home by watching proceedings online.

2. A turtle is addicted to nicotine. He became addicted after picking up the smouldering butts in his owner's garden, in Kouqian, China, and sulks if he doesn't get his fix. The Daily Express, which picked up the story from Chinese news agency Xinhua, includes a gob-smacking picture of the turtle doing a rather good impression of Dot Cotton.

3. The menopause is caused by the age-old battle between wives and mothers-in-law, reports the Times. As long as 50,000 to 300,000 years ago, competition for food in a family unit was a battle won by the younger women who fed their offspring, which led to the older women losing their ability to breed. With food hard to find, mothers-in-law tended to help rear the grandchildren rather than have more children themselves.

4. An injection that allows women bigger and better orgasms by increasing the size of the mysterious G-spot is being launched in the UK, says the Sun. The £800 collagen jab takes less than half-an-hour and is given under local anaesthetic.

5. School desks and chairs are to be enlarged to meet the needs of the UK's ever-heavier schoolchildren, reports the Express. On average British children are a centimetre taller than they were 10 years ago, and there are more obese youngsters, so desks supplied to UK schools will reflect this.

6. Wind turbines or solar panels built by UK companies anywhere in the world could count towards Britain's renewable energy targets under controversial government proposals, according to the Financial Times.

7. You will soon be able to have a tattoo on your teeth, reports the Sun. Steve Heward, the dentist who started the craze in the US plans to set up in Britain.

8. Did you know penguins can fly? A BBC camera crew filming a colony of Adelie penguins were astonished when they did something "no other penguins can do" and took to the Antarctic skies.

9. The traditional Chinese martial art T'ai Chi can help control diabetes, reports the Daily Mail. Apparently, researchers have found the flowing movements and deep breathing involved can result in a fall in blood sugar levels.

10. A thief walked out of a busy Norwegian aquarium with a crocodile that was over two feet long, says the Independent.

11. Drinkers have been banned from calling barmaids "love". An outraged Daily Star says new discrimination laws mean landlords that allow punters to chat up staff could be hauled before a tribunal and face unlimited fines.

Happy April Fool's Day!

Consumer evolution

This is sooooo true it's scary. Thank God our TV is still the bulky old-fashioned style ;-)

Marmite Paddington

I was looking for one of the "love it or loathe it" Marmite commercials on YouTube, when I came across this one. Paddington Bear was my fave cartoon when I was little, so I couldn't help but smile at this, as it brought back so many memories (of Paddington, not Marmite, which I didn't even know existed until I first came to the UK aged 21).

Ve haf vays of making you sit

Police dog handlers are learning German so they can give commands to trained alsatians being brought in from Germany. About 17 British police forces are importing the dogs to fill a shortage. At first officers will use German commands such as "aus" for "let go". A Derbyshire police spokeswoman said: "The dogs are now learning English."


Taken from London Lite Friday, 11 January 2008