Monday morning joke

A woman writes to IT technical support.....

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as News 5.0, Money 3.0 and Football 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

XXX

***********REPLY*************

Dear Madam,

Firstly, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: I thoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember that overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT in any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Good Looks 7.7.

Good Luck!

Tech Support

Wordless Wednesday 100

Back to reality with a thump

Hey guys, apologies for the silence! I've been on holiday on and off for the last month and as a result my blogging has suffered somewhat. I've spent time in Corfu and Cyprus with intermediate stops in London and Athens, so it's been quite a whirlwind.

My latest destination was the sunny island of Cyprus. Returning to the miserable UK weather after 9 days of glorious sunshine and temperatures in the 30's hasn't been easy - I feel I've crashed back into reality. Really missing the sun, which I've not seen since 4:45 PM on Monday 13/9 when our plane took off from Larnaca airport. I've come back with the best tan I've had in ages, but there's not even a ray of sunshine to help maintain it, let alone top it up. It's depressing.

I think I'm suffering with post-holiday blues. Sigh.

Wordless Wednesday 99

What did I do this weekend?

I've been invited by Gattina to participate in this meme by telling you what I did this weekend. Well, strictly speaking it's not "this weekend" any more, but yesterday was a bank holiday, meaning we had a long weekend, therefore the week's only just started. Hence I can still play :-)

Saturday: Hubby was feeling a bit fluey (due to spending Friday night with his mates, watching movies and consuming alcohol) and didn't feel like going into town to buy new shoes, as per our original plan. So we just walked to a new cafe that's opened nearby and had a very nice brunch of freshly-prepared sandwiches and lentil salads, washed down with mugs of tea. We also had a breakfast tart to share. Spent the rest of the day doing errands, going to the post office, taking clothes to the drycleaner's, doing the weekly shop etc.

Sunday: Weather windy and wet so we stayed indoors all day long. I'd left the window open in the bedroom and went in mid-morning to find it'd been raining on the bed, which by the way is positioned a couple of feet away from the wall. Our windows are sash, so they open up-down. This one was open just 30 cm at the top and the rain still got in. Drank too much tea to keep warm, and almost made soup for lunch. I kept thinking of our local drycleaner, who was getting married on Sunday. I hope the wedding was in the afternoon, as the rain stopped around 5 PM and we had glorious blue skies all evening.

Monday: Weather was much improved, so we went to the Notting Hill Carnival, a big celebration talking place over the bank holiday weekend. Watching the parade in the sunshine, you could almost imagine you were in Rio. Almost, not quite. Had lunch at a Greek restaurant, then got home and had a snooze in our sun-lit living room, one sofa each. Spent the evening watching rubbish on TV (hubby) and reading guide books (me).

Anyone else would like to play? What did YOU do this weekend?

Memory loss

Yesterday was our 7th wedding anniversary. Both my husband and I failed to remember it. I even wished my cousin a Happy Birthday (prompted by Facebook) and I know my cousin's birthday falls on the same day as my wedding anniversary, of course I do, but the significance of the date just didn't hit me.

I only know it was our wedding anniversary yesterday because my dad called me a minute ago with belated wishes. Shocking or what?

Driving through London - part 2 - Camberwell

Having spent the best part of an hour crawling through Peckham, we finally reached Camberwell, another inner south London suburb low on charm, but lively nonetheless. I don't have as many photos to show you because traffic conditions improved considerably (seems that every car going through the area was stuck in or around Peckham) and we picked up some speed, so it wasn't as easy to take photos. Here's a selection of the best ones.

I don't know what this building is, can't even tell if it's an office block or residential accommodation, but I thought it looked nice.


Finally, some empty roads!


Coming up to Camberwell Green, the hub of Camberwell where all the restaurants and bars are.


Check out "Noodels City". You may have to enlarge the photo to see the sign.


Continuing towards Kennington, it's getting a bit busier on the roads, but still moving at a steady speed.


Another example of terraced housing - this time Victorian/Edwardian (I think).


Made by Cows - a popular ad campaign by Anchor Butter.


The empty road happiness wasn't meant to last. Soon we come across more roadworks and more cones, and we're back to single lane traffic.


Still, slow speeds are good for photography. I really shouldn't complain.